Most people – royal or not – know that a funeral is a time for decorum and togetherness. A time to blend in and pay one’s respects.
Not to elbow one’s way clumsily into the central group of mourners. Or, indeed, laugh, crack jokes and grin as the stricken family stand in silence.
But Prince Andrew has never been one to read the room. Which is why his extraordinary behaviour at the service to celebrate the life of Katharine, Duchess of Kent, at Westminster Cathedral on Tuesday resulted in one of the most awkward displays of royal animosity ever.
It also left many of us asking: ‘What on earth was he thinking?’ And, for that matter, saying. So, here, with the help of one of Britain’s top lip readers, the Daily Mail pieces it all together.
1) 1.41pm
The Duke of York, 65, emerges from his police-escorted Range Rover. He is not remotely thrown by the loud, shocked gasps that come from members of the waiting crowd when they spot him and, instead, walks briskly up the cathedral steps with ex-wife Sarah Ferguson (with whom he still lives in Windsor). He sits in a surprisingly prominent position in the front row of the royals – alongside Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh, and Princess Anne and her husband, Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence.
2) 3.38pm
As the royals leave the emotional Requiem Mass, and shortly after the Duchess of Kent’s willow coffin is carried to the hearse, Prince Andrew is seen chuckling in the sun with Fergie – cracking the first of many jokes he’ll try to share with mourners.
3) 3.40pm
Now Andrew edges towards the core group of royals, gently jostling, until he and his ex-wife are behind William and Kate. Fergie does her best to engage them in jokey conversation. It is acutely uncomfortable to watch. As she chortles, the Waleses nod politely but, at one point, when Andrew joins in with the laughter, Kate has already turned away. He is left looking awkward.
4) 3.41pm
Undeterred, Andrew now tries to insert himself centre stage alongside Prince William, but he is engaged in conversation with his father.
5) 3.42pm
Again, Andrew does not pick up on the body language. Or the fact that, as everyone knows, William has absolutely ‘no time for his uncle’. Instead, Andrew turns to his nephew, and says: ‘We had a lovely time didn’t we then…’
6) 3.42pm
But recollections must vary, because William looks deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed. He gives a brief, curt nod, rocks on his heels, blinks a lot and rubs his nose five times. After a pause, Andrew adds: ‘And spending time with us…’ William stares at his uncle, clenches his jaw and looks away. His disdain is evident.
7) 3.43pm
It seems even the tone-deaf duke can now feel the chill. His face is set and his eyes are darting. He looks genuinely worried. For a moment, anyway.
Until he moves on to try his cheery chat on the King, who is said to be ‘continually exasperated’ with his younger brother and his scandals, but manages a brief smile before making a swift exit in his Bentley.
9) 4pm
But not before Kate – giving a masterclass in how to be a royal at a funeral – says goodbye to the King with a calm hand on his shoulder, a kiss on both cheeks and a perfect curtsy.
10) 4.01pm
Now Andrew pinballs like a needy child between family members. Next, he’s grinning at the Duchess of Edinburgh, who manages a smile.
11) 4.02pm
Then he’s on to Princess Anne, with whom he makes to leave. ‘Let’s walk this way,’ says his sister.
‘Shall we go that way and we can leave there,’ he continues – until he realises Fergie is still chatting with the Bishop. ‘Where is she? Oh, over there – is she coming? Oh…’
12) 4.03pm
And so he’s forced to wait for his ex-wife – alone, awkwardly fiddling with the tails of his morning suit. By now perhaps even Andrew has had enough – and is more than ready to head back under police escort to the safety of Royal Lodge in Windsor.
